Experiencing Grace Through Forgiveness

Human relationships can be quite complex can’t they? Psychiatrists, psychologists, psychoanalysts, and even used-car salesmen spend untold hours delving into the human psyche; hoping to find even the smallest clue, which might somehow open for them the door to the inner workings of our complex minds. “What makes us tick?” they ask. Biologists study brain waves, tele-marketers evaluate speech patterns, preachers study faces. You know what I’m talking about don’t you? Biologists – scientists- want to know what chemical or electrical signals snap our synapses. Tele-marketers want to know what would be the best way to attack our defenses when we “just say NO!” And preachers, (you know, preachers?) we watch for the slightest nod or shake of the head, or maybe we’ll catch the upturned corners of a mouth, hinting at a smile. Or maybe, we’ll be blessed to hear, the sweet-sweet sound of “AMEN”, from the parishioner, three pews back, on the right. We hope for something, anything, to let us know what’s going on behind those glassy stares.

We are creatures in community, so complex that we could never hope to fully understand what makes us act the way we act, say the things we say, or do the things we do. Jesus dealt with all the complexities of humans in relationship. The eighteenth chapter of Matthew is, if nothing else, a study in human relationships. I guess that could be said of most, if not all, of the Bible, but Matthew 18, with its twists and turns offers us a snapshot of humans in relationship. And more specifically, we see the added dimension of disciples/church members/children of God, in relationship.

In the very first verse, Jesus is asked a very human question. “Who is greatest in the kingdom of God?” Of course, the disciples, expecting Jesus to be their new king, are anxious to know which of them would be his generals. They are okay with Jesus being at the top of the ladder, they just want to make sure that there is also room enough for them, somewhere near the top. All of their lives, these nobodies from nowhere, had been struggling to survive on the rung they had been assigned. So who could blame them for hoping for a littler larger piece of the pie. But Jesus, being Jesus, turns all of that upside down. He takes a small child, places the child in there midst, and says, “Okay, you want to have a place in the kingdom of God? Then become as humble as this little child.” Suddenly, there was no top, no bottom. If they even wanted a seat at the table, they would have to drastically alter their way of seeing the world.

After expressing the importance of entering the kingdom of heaven, Jesus goes on to tell the well-known parable of the ninety-and-nine. If a shepherd has one-hundred sheep, and loses one, will he not leave the ninety-and-nine, find the lost sheep, and rejoice when he finds it? The answer is – No, probably not. The human reaction is “circle the wagons”, protect what we have left, “cut our loses”, work with the 99 we have left and maybe we can salvage what’s left of the year. But Jesus says risk it all, for even one. Reminding us of the sacred worth of all God’s creation.

Jesus then offers some practical advice for dealing with conflict in the church. Well, it seems like practical advice, but it’s actually a re-ordering of human nature. Jesus says that if someone offends you, go to them in private and try to work it out. If that doesn’t work, take someone with you and try again. If that doesn’t work, take it before the church. If that doesn’t work, you’ve done all you can do, cut them off. Seems pretty simple and straight-forward doesn’t it? But we should know that when things look simple, there must be something we’re missing.

Notice that at the very beginning of the process, Jesus puts the burden on the one offended, not the one giving offense. He tells us to go to the person who has offended us and attempt reconciliation. And if all fails, how are we to treat them. He says they are to be as “gentiles and tax collectors.” And what exactly was Jesus’ record of dealing with tax collectors and gentiles? He forgave them, and called them to be disciples. So, what seems to be practical tips for dealing with conflict, is actually a call to followers of Christ to posses a scandalous capacity for forgiveness?

Enter Peter. You have to love Peter don’t you? I for one can totally identify with Peter. On one hand, Peter displays a remarkable level of faith and commitment, a level of insight and understanding that is unsurpassed. When Jesus asks the disciples, “Who do you say that I am?” It is Peter that offers the wonderful proclamation, “You are the Christ, the son of the living God.” But on the other hand, in Peter’s denial of Christ, we see the depths to which we all can sink. And we see Peter at every level in between.

We often see Peter on the very verge of understanding. He’s almost there; he’s just about got it. If he could just take one more step; stretch himself just a little further. Peter, hearing all this talk of the importance of humility and the sacred worth of every individual; hearing how it’s not so important who’s right and who’s wrong, but healed relationships are of ultimate importance. He finally begins to get the picture. Or he thinks he does. He approaches Jesus and asks, “So let me see if I’ve got this right. If someone offends me, how often should I forgive them.” He is so sure that he’s got it right that he doesn’t even wait for Jesus to answer. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jesus, I think I got this. Seven times. I should forgive seven times.”

Sounds reasonable doesn’t it? It did to Peter. The other rabbis taught, based on a passage in Amos, that three times was adequate. So seven, that’s over twice what the other rabbis taught. In comparison, Peter was being pretty gracious. But Jesus, being Jesus, says “That’s not quite what I had in mind. It’s not seven, but seventy-times-seven times.” Jesus must have caught Peter searching for his tally book in the folds of his robes. Peter probably opened it up, counted the lines, and thought to himself, “You know, I’m going to have to add a few. I’ve room for seven, but not four-hundred and ninety” Jesus, being Jesus, must have seen Peter doing the math and thought it necessary to explain his answer further.

Jesus offers this parable, he said, “The kingdom of heaven is like a king, who decides it’s time to settle accounts with his servants. And after checking the accounts, he comes to a servant who owes him ten-thousand talents.” Now a talent would be about 15 years worth of this servant’s wages. So that’s one-hundred fifty-thousand years worth of wages. That’s in the billions to you and me. Now I don’t know what this servant was doing to amass such a huge debt, but that’s not the point. The point is – it’s enormous.

So this servant who owes the king a billion dollars is brought before him and asked to pay it all. “And, as he could not pay,” – of course he could not pay; not even if he added the accumulated wealth of his children, and his children’s children, to his own wealth, could he ever hope to pay this debt. “And, as he could not pay,” the king ordered that he, and his wife, and his children, and all his possessions be sold, to pay the debt.

It’s the end. Life for this servant is over. So in desperation, the servant falls on his knees, and begs the king for mercy saying, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” Now hold on a minute, is there any way that this servant, given a little, could pay this debt? Absolutely not. The king knows it, and he knows it, but, the king, moved with compassion for the servant, orders that he be released and forgives him the debt.

It’s a miracle, and no minor miracle at that. It’s difficult for us to forget when it’s someone else’s turn to buy lunch, but her we have a king forgiving over a billion dollars worth of debt. I wish that I could stop here. It would be a fairytale ending. The king is gracious, and the thankful servant, along with his family, lives happily ever after. But sadly, the parable continues.

The servant leaves the presence of the king, and as he does, comes across a fellow servant who owes him one-hundred denarii. He seizes him by the throat and says, “pay me what you owe.” His fellow servant falls down and pleads with him, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.” Do you notice anything here? It is the same request made of the king just a short time ago, but instead of being merciful, this unjust servant has his debtor thrown into prison.

What a startling contrast between the graciousness exhibited by the king and the utter lack of compassion shown by this unjust servant. To make matters worse, a denarius was roughly a days wages. So, one-hundred denarii would be about one-hundred days worth of wages. The unjust servant owed the king one-hundred fifty-thousand years worth of wages, an amount he could never repay, but he cannot bring himself to forgive a seemingly insignificant debt when it is owed to him.
The king hears about this unjust treatment by the forgiven servant and has him brought before him. “Wicked” he calls him. “I forgave you all because you pleaded with me. Should you not have done the same?” he asks. “How could you do anything less?”

I can’t begin to understand the lack of compassion that this unjust servant exhibits, but I recognize it. It looks all too familiar. Having been the recipients of immeasurable mercy and grace, we in the Christian community often find it entirely too easy to hang onto the wrongs done to us, and we can be awfully slow to forgive. And who can blame us. It’s hard to forgive, sometimes impossible. Let’s not even talk about forgetting. When someone wrongs us it hurts. And the last thing we want to hear is that the Christian response is one of forgiveness. But that is exactly what the message of Jesus is for us today. Having been forgiven, we are to forgive.

But first, we have to experience forgiveness. Not just know it in our heads, but feel it in our hearts. And as we receive the peace that flows from the depths of God’s love, revealed to us through the miracle of God’s forgiveness, it opens for us the healing power that comes to us as we forgive others.