Methodist Corner

I was recently asked to write a paper reflecting on where I am in ministry for one of my seminary classes.  Here it is… 

      I wish that I could say that my response to God’s call had always been “Here am I.  Send me.”  Unfortunately, it has often been just the opposite.  For as long as I can remember, God’s call has been present.  Though it took nearly thirty-five years for me to answer, I now look back on my life and see how God’s guiding hand has brought me to this place, where I can say without reservation, just as Isaiah did,  “Here am I. Send Me!” 
        My family first saw the evidence of God’s call when I was a small child, much of which I cannot even remember.  As a small child, my Grandparents and I shared many Sunday mornings together, and while they rarely attended church, they never missed an opportunity to watch Adrian Rogers’ Sunday morning service on television.  As soon as he was finished, I would set up a TV tray and “preach” to anyone who would listen.  My uncle told my mother recently “I thought for sure that boy would end up a preacher the way he used to carry on come Sunday morning.”  Like most children, I dreamed of being an astronaut, policeman, doctor, or cowboy, but always mixed in there somewhere was preacher.
      A decision by my parents, during my adolescent years, began what I considered a great disruption.  In the winter of ‘81 when I was eleven, my mother and stepfather moved us from Memphis, Tennessee to Batesville, Mississippi where we began attending a fundamental holiness church.  While that alone may not be a bad thing, for an eleven-year-old boy that could barely remember the last time he was in a church, three-hour worship services, four days a week can be something of a shock.  This began a struggle with my parents that lasted through my teen years where I tried to balance pleasing my family and determining for myself what it meant to please God.
      As a young adult, on my own, I continued to struggle with what it meant to please God and often questioned whether we could ever really know that God truly existed.  This search for the reality of God eventually led my wife and I through the doors of Courtland United Methodist Church, where the love we felt assured us that this was home.
      Most of my life has been like so many others.  My wife and I have been married sixteen years.  We have two wonderful children, who remind us everyday who God is.  The journey has not always been easy and at times, I did not even recognize it as a journey at all.  There have been times in my life when I was sure that in the face of my persistent refusal, God had given up and would let me live my life the way I wanted to, but thank God, that in spite of my protests, God has been ever faithful.
      Just when I thought that I had reached a place in life where I could be comfortable, a wonderful family, a good career, God’s call began to echo within my heart, just a little louder.  “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?”  There is only one answer that fills my mind, “Here am I, send me!”
      While I may not yet fully understand where that answer will lead me, it is my intention to fulfill the requirements necessary for ordination as an elder in the United Methodist Church.  Above all, my goal is to serve God wherever that call may lead.  Currently, that includes serving as part-time local pastor of Fountain Head UMC in Byhalia, Mississippi.  I also maintain a website, www.methodistcorner.net, where I post  some of my writing and engage topics of wide variety.
      I cherish the opportunity to explore those areas of theology with which I have been struggling, rediscovering ways in which to express “theology” as relative to our society, and gaining new perspective on my life as a Christian.  The opportunity to study and deliberate with fellow seekers who share a commitment to the quest for God’s revealed knowledge and wisdom is invaluable.
      Seeking to understand God and each other draws us nearer to our creator and one another, because understanding is essential in the development of any relationship.  My wife and I have been married sixteen years and each day brings me new insight into who she is and what my response as her husband should be.  In the same way that my love and appreciation for her grows through understanding, through understanding, we grow to love and appreciate God and each other all the more.   Participating with others seeking to “know” God in a meaningful way, seeing the expressions of God’s grace in their lives, and seeing God from their perspective is having a profound impact on my spiritual growth.
      As I continue to grow spiritually, I become increasingly aware of how vitally important it is that we as Christians find ways to express our faith in meaningful ways.  If we retreat into our own world of self-centeredness and personal indulgence, how then does our faith-expressions maintain consistency with the truth of the Gospel message. How can we speak to our sisters and brothers of God’s sustaining grace, when all they see is our vain attempt to sustain ourselves?
      Personal relationships with God must grow and yield to the ever-present reality of human existence, which manifests itself in our relationship with God as well as our relationships with each other.   It is in our relationships within the broad context of human existence that we show ourselves to be witnesses to the resurrection of Christ.  How we respond to each other is an expression of our response to God. 
      Our response to issues of justice, peace, and reconciliation, as Christians, should be direct expressions of how God’s grace has affected these issues in our individual lives.  “Freely ye have received, freely give”, is a command to relate to the world as Christ relates to us.  Through education and spiritual growth, my understanding of Christ’s relevance in my own life is affecting the way I relate to the world.
      While completing the requirements necessary for ordination in the UMC would be noteworthy, it is however, only a small aspect of my intended goal while at MTS.  It is my hope to engage fully, throughout my seminary experience, in the process of discovery.  I hope to continue finding new ways to express my faith, to continue exploring varied perspectives on social and theological issues, and continue determining effective ways to use my gifts and talents while assisting others also seeking to discover the reality of God in their own lives.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 7th, 2007 at 4:22 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.